One of the most troubling trends in technology is the fact that there is a whole market dedicated to the production of digital reviews. Whether it’s the legendary way Wii Fit tells you about your weight or the devices designed to make mooing noises every time you open the fridge, we spend far too much money on things designed to make us feel bad. . And now people are starting to expect us to install them in our bodies, not less. Meet the smart tooth.
Essentially, the smart tooth is a sensor stuck inside your mouth that detects the movement of your jaw. In its own way, it’s rather impressive. The sensor is able to differentiate movement of the jaw when you talk, chew, breathe, drink, smoke and cough. In other words, once you stick this thing in your mouth, everything you do will be very, very easy to understand. On the other hand, we are also wondering what they will do with this third date.
Kidding aside, the sensor provides data to your doctor, or to yourself, and is able to tell your health team that you are taking or that you are taking bad habits. They are also looking to add Bluetooth, so you can get a sarcastic text message every time you light a cigarette. “Oh, a cigarette, how pissed off I’m going to text your photos of sick organs now.”
This will certainly be useful as a medical device, but we must question the premise of sticking a circuit board in your mouth to monitor your health. Really, if you’re at the point where you’re thinking of becoming a cyborg, maybe you should go see a therapist instead.